Thursday 16 June 2016

Guest Match Report: Fishermen vs Engineering Hotspur


"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Earth Sports, the channel with the real dirt on your favourite players. The season is well under way, and as things stand the crown for first place is still anyone's to win! Normally I do love to be beside the sea side, but on a drizzly day like today I'm happy that Mike, our pitch side correspondent, has set up camp in The Bulging Net Stadium, home of the Fishermen. 

Our line ups for today are;

Fishermen:
Corsair (c) Salt (m) Angel, Kraken, Sakana, Greyscales

Engineering Hotspur:
Pin Vice (c) Mainspring (m) Hoist, Compund, Colossus, Decimate

Will Engineering Hotspur grind out another win after the difficult game against the Hunters, or will the Fishermen score their way to glory? Ah, the teams are emerging from the Carp-All Tunnel, but before I leave remember to visit Carp-All for all your fishing needs. Carp-All, Carp, for all!

Welcome sports-fans; today we bring you Engineering Hotspurs first away game of the season, down on the port town of West Ewell. The Fishermen are our esteemed hosts, just a shame about the smell of rotting fish guts everywhere.

As the teams come trotting out the tunnel we get our first glimpse at the line-up. Few supporters in the away end will be surprised to see that Velocity has been dropped to the bench. After last weeks showing I'm surprised she hasn't been burned for firewood.

Kraken gets us underway with a deft little punt to the right of centre. Hoist picks up the ball and plays a cheeky back-heel to Colossus. Kraken ambles forward and looks to be setting himself for a mighty harpoon launch on Colossus....wait a minute, what's this? Compound comes charging out of nowhere screaming incoherently under his leather mask, he shoulder charges straight into Krakens blind spot and knocks him on his arse. Colossus, Compound and Decimate start kicking him while he's down, the rest of the fishermen team look utterly horrified!

Colossus passes back to his Captain, who gratefully receives the ball with a pass and move. Pin Vice sets herself, but switches play and she passes back to Colossus, she then receives the 1-2 and off she flies, straight through the centre to score in the open goal. A breath-taking opening foray. The away fans are going mad in the stands.

The ball gets kicked out onto the right wing where Angel picks it up. Decimate looks re-energised and takes Kraken out the game the poor lump having to suffer the embarrassment of being rolled off by a team of sinister looking medics.

A bit of a brawl takes place in the centre of the field, Hoist and Compound roaming into Fisherman
teritory. Corsair, Greyscales and Sakana are there to meet them. Angel flies down the wing and speculatively shoots from an unbelievable distance, what a goal. There's some power in those skinny legs!

The ball is returned to the field and Colossus neatly controls the kick-off. He sprints up the field and lays it off to Pin Vice who shoots for her 2nd of the game, for a few minutes the Fishermen thought they were back in it only to have their hopes dashed by some superb forward play from Pin Vice.

A drinks break is ordered by the match officials, will this give the Fisherman time to regroup. We've had reports in that after the Engineers second goal went in Velocity stormed down the tunnel, she's not returned yet. Kraken enters the field but still looks bleary eyed

The ball is kicked out again this time to the left wing. All the Fish players are looking over to him as Pin Vice sneaks over to pick the ball up, turns and shoots for her hat-trick. She runs to the corner to celebrate with the away fans who are delirious. What a game, what a player!

Stadium officials state that there will be an inquiry into an Engineer players behaviour, after reports of a smashed up dressing room have surfaced. Engineers management and staff declined to give comment and were absent for the post-match interview.

Highlights
Score: 4-12(14)

Engineers
PV legendary goal

Decimate > Kraken

PV snap shot

PV goal

Fishermen
Angel goal

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